If...what if...if only...

When we were young we had those moments. What if I became a teacher … what if I became an astronaut… what if I could fly. Our lives revolved around the what ifs. We had years and years of hopes and dreams ahead of us. There was no regret and no remorse just an anticipation of the wonders of being older.

We started growing and it became just IF – if I study hard I will get an A. If I get a new dress, maybe he will notice me. If I don’t make waves and pretend I like them, the popular kids will like me too. We were old enough to see how our actions would result in another action. We knew that there were criteria we needed to achieve to get what we wanted. No more hopes and dreams but plans and results.

Now I am old enough to be in the “if only” part of my life. If only I had gone to college I could be a teacher or a writer or an engineer. If only I had saved my money I could have so much more. If only I had not married so young…or bought that car…or drank that beer. So many actions and moments that could have changed my whole life…if only I hadn’t taken the path I did.

 In Field of Dreams, Ray Kinsella is talking to Doc Graham. As a young man, Doc was an aspiring ballplayer . When he realized his dream would never happen, Doc finished his medical degree and became a small town doctor, touching the lives of many.bRay remembers how Doc was just one batsman away from achieving his goal to be a ballplayer, and what a tragedy it was to be within grasp of that dream and in 5 minutes, have that dream denied. Doc tells Ray… if I’d only gotten to be a doctor for five minutes, now that would have been a tragedy.

One is looking at the “what if” as a dream unfulfilled – one looking at the “if” as a choice that produced incredible results.

In the Bible, we see mankind throwing what if, if and if only’s at God. Evil first produced IF in the garden, telling Eve that if she ate from the tree of life, she would be equal to God. Moses wondered how he could talk to the Pharoah… what if he didn’t have the words? While chained to the pillars, I’m sure Samson thought “if only” I wouldn’t have told them about my hair.

Even Jesus used IF, but not in a regretful, questioning or unrealistic way.  He used His IF to show that the authority started with God and the choices to use that authority were strictly from Him.  In Matthew, 22:42, Jesus said “Father, if you are willing, take this cup from me; yet not my will but yours be done.” He gave the power to God, not assuming that His worldly desires would take precedent over God’s plan. Jesus as a man knew that only God could save Him, but Jesus didn’t demand it. He simply said He would work within God’s will.

When Jesus sent the Apostles out, He had already shown that He was God, and was invoking the Holy Spirit to bless and guide the twelve. He said in John 20:23, “If you forgive anyone’s sins, their sins are forgiven; if you do not forgive them, they are not forgiven.” Jesus offered them a choice and this very choice set up the church as we know it. Jesus gave authority to the apostles. Using IF in this phrase gave responsibility to all Christians to review situations from a spiritual and not mortal point of view.

This is as good a year as any to turn my ifs, what ifs and if only’s  from remorse, regret or imagination to something positive, encouraging and even holy.

Think of your if’s. Here’s one of mine.

If I hadn’t joined the choir, I would have denied myself the chance to meet wonderful, interesting and remarkable people who I would not normally have encountered.  If I hadn’t stopped working on the music and started working on the praise, I would not worship with my whole heart and soul. If I hadn’t remembered that to forgive is divine, would I still be numbering my errors and inadequacies?

Want a what if?

What if…I hadn’t found Eastbrook? What if I had kept my worship to myself and never put myself out there in God’s name?  What if I hadn’t found that to encourage others in their faith would provide resources to find excellence in my own faith?

How about an “if only?”

If only I could meet every situation in grace and patience instead of my usual suspicion and hurriedness, my life would be easier and calmer. If only my worship would grow and grow each day, I would be so much closer to my family, my friends and my God. If only I would stop thinking of myself, I would better serve God … and since He thinks of me all the time, I really don’t need to dwell on myself. 

My goal is to take the ifs, what ifs and if onlys of my life and make them positives. If only I had thought of that sooner.