My friend, Shirley

In my life, I can only recall knowing 3 Shirleys. The first was in high school, one of a pair of twins, Mary and Shirley. The second was in my church choir, a lovely woman who exemplifies Christian attitude and grace.
This is for my third Shirley.

My friend, Shirley.

I met her as a result of my husband’s Men’s Bible Study. I would drop him off but he required a ride home. Many men have helped but one day a wonderful man named Tony started driving him. Tony and Duke became fast friends with much in common. They decided to go to dinner together with their respective wives and that is how I met Shirley.

Shirley was everything Tony had told Duke. She was not only friendly, but God-fearing and serving, a great cook and wonderful friend. Shirley made it obvious that like me, family really mattered. She worked in love for her husband and children, and they loved her for it.

 Shirley would make bakery and share with everyone. For the Bible study, women were invited once a year for a Christmas message and she made sure that each table had fresh, homemade cranberry bread.  I remember her walking in with a basket of fancy plates and wrapped breads and I would help her cut them and put the slices on plates for the group.

 Shirley won multiple ribbons at the Wisconsin State Fair for her cooking, her art and other skills. She downplayed her abilities and always gave credit to those who won the Blue over her Red ribbon, or acknowledged the receivers of the Red while she took the Blue.

We liked to eat out. Our favorite Chinese place – their favorite buffet. We went to Mama Mia’s Italian / Pizza restaurant many times because we all relished the garlic bread there. The portions are large enough for two, but Shirley, like us, refused to share hers. Tony may have wanted just a taste, but of the other three, no one was overly enthused about giving him one.

The only fault in Shirley was her health. Before I even met her, she was diagnosed with cancer and had been fighting it for years. Each time remission hit, her life became focused and back to normal. Once the cancer came back she would buckle down and square off against it. She came back repeatedly, her spirit ever stronger, even though her body was weaker. 

When I heard of her fight I was surprised because the news was not delivered as a complaint from or illness in her, but as a simple statement that that was why she took meds, made sure to use disinfectant lotion before eating and was occasionally laid up.

Good days and bad days…that is cancer. She relished the good ones and just accepted that the bad ones could be battled away.

Shirley was finally defeated in October of 2014.

Faith can get people through many things. Knowing that God has embraced and healed Shirley for the last time can be reassuring, but we miss her. We spend time with Tony but know that it isn’t Tony and Shirley anymore. He is still a loving and generous friend to Duke but there is a difference; there should be a fourth person at the table when we go out. In our hearts there is and always will be.

I found that people look like what they are. I have seen physically attractive women become ugly and repulsive by their attitudes. I have seen soft spoken, ordinary women, become strong and lovely in their faith.

And Shirley? I saw the most stunning and gracious woman I have ever met and I thank God that He brought her to my life for even a short time. When I grow up, I want to be like Shirley!