happy anniversary!

Tomorrow, April 27, 2014, is Duke and my 40th wedding anniversary.

I would like to say something wonderful about this. I use the word "wonder" because it is a wonder in many ways.

I wonder why Duke stayed with me for 40 years. I know we were deeply in love when we married, and had many years of passion and excitement, tingling hand touches and gentle embraces. But I can be mean and selfish...I can be silly and childish...and he stays. Maybe the variety keeps him around.

I wonder what has kept us together all these years. I know we had many problems and situations that would have defeated other couples, and somehow I know that the strength of two people united is what made us victors. We were too stubborn to give up, a trait that is not always good, but seems to work.

I wonder why we are still happy. I know we have gone through health issues for both of us, mine far less serious than Dukes. We buried each other's parents, and Duke buried his only brother. We went to weddings and funerals, saw our friends children and grandchildren grow up.

I wonder what kind of parents we were. I know we stuck together while our son searched for meaning in his life and we waited for him to accept God's blessing to develop a music ministry. We inadvertently set an example so that Chris could see that marriage isn't all roses and sunshine, but rewarding for what you put in. As a result, he was able to seek out a soul mate and find Samantha, his true love and partner.

I wonder if everyone knows they can be married 40 years. I know that the errors of the past can be buried if you focus on building for the future. I know that pain can be eliminated by love. I know that forgiveness isn't a weakness. I know that being angry and having tense times isn't a sign of the end of things, but a fight to survive.

I wonder why we are different from others. I know we are different when I see us bow our heads in prayer before we eat...even at McDonalds. I know we are different when we leave a picnic or party early to attend church. I know we are different when we talk about the "good old days" of drinking and smoking too much...staying out too late and sleeping to long, and we laugh and shake our heads.

I wonder what the next years will be like. I know that the years to come are not in our hands, but in God's. I know that He has enabled us to grow, allowed us to change. I know that there is no sure thing, but that after 40 years, He has given us the tools to make a few more.

I wonder ... and then I think...I know.