JOHN DOYLE

John was cool because he was 1) my first nephew and 2) born on my dad's birthday, which meant my dad hasn't aged in almost 25 years. I am still looking for the person who will take my birthday so I don't have to age. Volunteers?
Back to John...
John was born the year after my mother died and therefore Mary was able to ask Duke and I to be his godparents. I don't really know what that means but I do know that I see him with a different eye than most of his other aunts and uncles.
John was active and indestructible. He didn't shy away from dangerous situations, in part because he knew if he would get in too deep, there was always Emily to drag him back. He was a little cutie and tried to be a good son to both parents, but that was difficult. Doyle, his dad, had a definitely non-urban view of what a son should be. It appears that when you are born and raised with trucks, guns and good-ol'-boys, you don't have a lot of respect for foreign cars, sensitivity or fair weather friends. Doyle died when John was young and it's no surprise that John grew somewhat confused about his identity. On one side, we were all northerners - houses, yards, hunting in assigned areas with guns you stored most of the year. On the other was the southern element - farms and fields, hunting out the back door with guns out of the safe in the dining room. I'm not siding with either group because it is that very diversity that makes us what we are and keeps things interesting.
John loved gaming and his abilities to navigate on line are nothing short of remarkable. He understands the difference between trolls and ogres, warlocks and wizards. Because he has a sharp and eager mind, he is able to relate to many different groups. He memorizes movie lines and song lyrics like the rest of us do each others' phone numbers and addresses.
John has good friends, and not so good friends. Then there are the ones who sometimes masked their true nature and caused him not only emotional but physical pain. John moved to Milwaukee with his mom and they stayed here for a few years. Once he had nieces in Nashville, he and Mary moved back down but due to his friends being far from friendly, he came back to Milwaukee in 2011.
John had worked for me for about a year the first time they lived here. We took a chance on someone with basic computer skills and brought him aboard to learn how to work in an office. Our relationship took a break as I am a demanding boss, but he learned many things about working. First and foremost, he learned that he really was comfortable in a business atmosphere. Now the business I am in (tire sales and service) is not ideal but he saw abilities in himself he never knew he had - organization, manners, patience. When he left to go down south again, he had much to think about. John has decided to go back to school some day and pick up some business credits. When he came back a few months ago, he stopped in to let me know he was going to use me as a job reference and I just happened to be between assistants so he agreed to work here a few hours a day to help me out. Would I have asked him if he wasn't my nephew and godson? Who knows? It is a decision I didn't regret the first time and don't regret now.
John has a spiritual side - something that I never knew till we shared an office. We talk God and faith and life in general. He knows my opinions and I know his (like what he really thinks about the guys we work with and how some "graphic novel" based movies are really not true to their source.)
John is one of those guys who has to have a woman in his life. He is a romantic, looking for the woman who will be his forever. That same quality opens him up to women who take advantage of him, using his generosity as a reason to be with him and then using it to tell him he is controlling and immature. Somewhere there is a woman who will be generous back - with her things, her emotions and her future. For now, he is still looking.
I ache for him as he looks for a true love and encourage him as best I can. How does someone my age with "one true love" reassure someone his age? Can I get it through that sometimes trying too hard results in pain and just relaxing and letting it happen has much better results? Maybe I just did.
Well, this is a retrospective on me and John and very little about anything, but like I said, my blog - my rules.
Love you John!