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How do I start? How do I define the relationship with the one person who is totally different from me but absolutely the same?
Mary and I were born a little over 13 months apart and neither of us can remember life without the other. Granted we each had our own friends and interests, but because of her I never had the heartache of losing a best friend - because she was always there for me and was my best friend.
People thought we were the same, but we were so different. We were light to each other's dark and sun to each other's moon.
Mary has the beauty I will never have. It may be her self-confidence, her drive, her ambition to be the best she can be. Whatever makes her beautiful is past hair and makeup - beyond weight and fancy clothes. It is something that will be there no matter what is seen by the untrained eye.
She fought for everything she has. She turned a desire for a good education into over 25 years in the armed forces as an Army Nurse. She still practices her trade working when she wants at nursing homes and facilities in her area.
She loves her children with her whole heart and, as all mothers know, even when that heart is broken, her bond of love to her kids is not. She is a doting and creative grandmother who is now able to love with no restraint. As my mother told me, grandmothers spoil grandchildren...get used to it. Mary epitomizes that.
Mary is generous and good natured. I love when she walks into a room because her very essense lights it up, and I just sort of bask in that glow. I followed in her shadow for many years, and when I tried to remove myself, I had a sense of loss like none I had ever known. I learned that the shadow was part of me. Being her second made me a stronger first in my own life.
We always joked that when we imagine ourselves rich, famous musicians (neither of us with incredible talent, by the way) she would see herself as the lead singer and I would see myself as back-up. Mary was always my star. Where I am support staff at work, she is administration.
Mary and I were raised to be the best - the brightest - the strongest we could be. We were encouraged to love each other and be different which is why we are so good when together...so connected when apart.
She sometimes wonders why I introduce her as my older sister. It's because I want people to know she is a little older, a little smarter and a little better than me. It isn't years that older defines. I will always look up to her and respect her. People need to know that.
I love her and am proud of her. I am honored to be her sister. Thanks Mom and Dad.