how cool am I

I was sitting in my car at a strip mall, waiting for my son to complete a quick purchase when I saw a young man exit one of the stores. He left the store, pulled the hood of his sweatshirt up and forward so his face disappeared into it. His head was down, his hands were tucked in his pockets, his jeans were slightly low and he had that strut. You know the strut. It says “I am too cool to make eye contact, too tough to give you a glance, too gangsta’ to deal with the likes of you.”

And then he walked into a tree. A low hanging branch had gone right into his hood and could have poked his eye, cut his cheek or done some damage, but I had to laugh.

And then I thought, he was so busy being cool, he didn’t see the tree.

How often has that happened in my Christian life?

I can be the picture of a good Christian woman. I help people who are struggling; the old lady with her groceries, the student dropping books, the young mother who can’t get her stroller and parcels out the store door without assistance.

But am I pulling up my hoodie to keep from seeing the world and being satisfied with having the world see me?

Some days, I insist on doing 95% (or less) and leave that 5% open to worldly ways, evil and negative influences. When I walk with my head down, hidden in a hood of my own making, is there a tree waiting to slap me in the face? I drop my head thinking I am shielded from judgment , and then suddenly I realize that everyone sees me anyway. My efforts to be Christian on the outside do not preempt a stray branch from sneaking in and changing my whole persona.

The young man at the strip mall was not ready and the branch reached in and changed the way the outside viewed him. If I am not ready, I shudder to think of what I am opening my heart to. I can’t let the smallest evil get in, because I am not ready to betray my faith for the love of self over world.

I need to fling back my hood, raise my eyes and declare to the world that I am ready to let them see me as I truly am. I must shout to the mountaintops that I am armed and ready to face and fight adversity and damaging items and defeat them. I need to let the world see me and to look back at them and say that I am their servant in Christ, regardless of how they see me. It isn’t my image that makes me a Christian, but the real me. I have to be honest, loving and most of all, forget what others think and only focus on what Jesus decreed to be right.

I can’t love unconditionally with blinders on. I can’t see the world with my hoodie covering my eyes. I need to open up, wise up and look up. There is so much I will miss if I forget to look.

My friend, Shirley

In my life, I can only recall knowing 3 Shirleys. The first was in high school, one of a pair of twins, Mary and Shirley. The second was in my church choir, a lovely woman who exemplifies Christian attitude and grace.
This is for my third Shirley.

My friend, Shirley.

I met her as a result of my husband’s Men’s Bible Study. I would drop him off but he required a ride home. Many men have helped but one day a wonderful man named Tony started driving him. Tony and Duke became fast friends with much in common. They decided to go to dinner together with their respective wives and that is how I met Shirley.

Shirley was everything Tony had told Duke. She was not only friendly, but God-fearing and serving, a great cook and wonderful friend. Shirley made it obvious that like me, family really mattered. She worked in love for her husband and children, and they loved her for it.

 Shirley would make bakery and share with everyone. For the Bible study, women were invited once a year for a Christmas message and she made sure that each table had fresh, homemade cranberry bread.  I remember her walking in with a basket of fancy plates and wrapped breads and I would help her cut them and put the slices on plates for the group.

 Shirley won multiple ribbons at the Wisconsin State Fair for her cooking, her art and other skills. She downplayed her abilities and always gave credit to those who won the Blue over her Red ribbon, or acknowledged the receivers of the Red while she took the Blue.

We liked to eat out. Our favorite Chinese place – their favorite buffet. We went to Mama Mia’s Italian / Pizza restaurant many times because we all relished the garlic bread there. The portions are large enough for two, but Shirley, like us, refused to share hers. Tony may have wanted just a taste, but of the other three, no one was overly enthused about giving him one.

The only fault in Shirley was her health. Before I even met her, she was diagnosed with cancer and had been fighting it for years. Each time remission hit, her life became focused and back to normal. Once the cancer came back she would buckle down and square off against it. She came back repeatedly, her spirit ever stronger, even though her body was weaker. 

When I heard of her fight I was surprised because the news was not delivered as a complaint from or illness in her, but as a simple statement that that was why she took meds, made sure to use disinfectant lotion before eating and was occasionally laid up.

Good days and bad days…that is cancer. She relished the good ones and just accepted that the bad ones could be battled away.

Shirley was finally defeated in October of 2014.

Faith can get people through many things. Knowing that God has embraced and healed Shirley for the last time can be reassuring, but we miss her. We spend time with Tony but know that it isn’t Tony and Shirley anymore. He is still a loving and generous friend to Duke but there is a difference; there should be a fourth person at the table when we go out. In our hearts there is and always will be.

I found that people look like what they are. I have seen physically attractive women become ugly and repulsive by their attitudes. I have seen soft spoken, ordinary women, become strong and lovely in their faith.

And Shirley? I saw the most stunning and gracious woman I have ever met and I thank God that He brought her to my life for even a short time. When I grow up, I want to be like Shirley!

Poem - what do nonbelievers do...

What do nonbelievers do when they lay down to sleep?

Do they relax with milk or wine or just start counting sheep?

 Do they recall the little things that made their day a mess,

Or do they wish they could be rich and have to work much less?

I wonder if they know that when you rest at night in love,

You know your life is under guard by those who reign above.

The pain from life is just a load that each of us must bear

But we can turn it over to the Lord’s unending care.

I wonder how they sleep when life could end at any time

And they don’t have a promise of eternity in mind.

I wonder if we told them that the peace we have is real,

Would they allow the Savior in, their wounded lives to heal?

Would they respond that we are nuts and turn their eyes away?

Do they know we won’t let them off? Won’t let them get away?

Will we express our faith and love and tell them of God’s will?

Will we convince them He can help their empty hearts be filled?

Do we show them through ourwords, our actions, thoughts and deeds

That God above, the Lord of Love, supplies their every need?

Do we show that the love we have as Christians can be shared

To all who throw their selves aside – who step to Christ – who dare?

Did we hold back, or take the reins and charge to fight the fight

That keeps them tossing, turning, as they try to rest at night?

If they became believers, their minds could rest in peace

Knowing that through God above, anxiety will cease.

Do we help them see that God alone, in life their souls will keep?

What DO nonbelievers do when they lay down to sleep?

the Red Shutters

As I drove to work the other day, I saw a house with red shutters. I wondered when the house got red shutters because I don’t remember seeing them before. I had been driving the same way for years, passing the same houses, streets and businesses, but suddenly I noticed  red shutters.

There are two possible reasons for this… they painted the shutters the day before or I just never noticed.

In life, we very often go along the same paths, to the same places, with the same people, and we never look outside ourselves to truly see what is going on. Don’t get me wrong, we are tempted to look, but then we play turtle when something tries to get our attention. Is it because we are afraid to care or because we wonder what would happen if we are not pleased with what we see?

As a Christian, I am sometimes so focused on church and my personal ministries that I forget to see what is going on in the neighborhood around me or other ministries. There are many times that a need is out there that I could respond to if only I saw it. And I don’t see it. I hope it’s because I am ignorant and guilty of tunnel-vision. My fear is that I purposely don’t hear the needs of other ministries because I feel complacent in the little I am doing. Or that I don’t look around because I consider the pittance I give to our overseas missions and local causes enough to support them; that the time I am giving to discuss how problems should be solved is as valuable as actually stepping up and doing something.

I am really afraid that when I face Jesus, He will say “what you did for the least of My children, you did for Me”… and I will remember how I didn’t even see the least of the children, so did nothing for my Lord.

Today, I decide to open my eyes to the needs of others. I pledge to get out of my comfort zone and use my gifts to spread the Word. I promise myself that when Jesus comes to me as a crying child, a starving man, a lost heart…I will see them and Him.

My path may be the same, but I need to see the paths around me as well. Sometimes they are just calling to be noticed but sometimes the paths around me have changed. Now they cross mine.  I need to be diligent and watch for merging traffic…and yield accordingly.

This is a true revelation to me of my own character. And all because of a house with red shutters.  

update...but not completely

Yeah, I know. It's been a while since I wrote but I have never been the best correspondent.
I experimented with a Weebly.com site but I have no idea or inclination to maintain it. I have so much I want to do and playing with my computer at night falls way to the bottom of the list.
I am enjoying summer without choir but am anxious, knowing it will start again soon. The Wisconsin  State Fair is just around the corner and I look forward to going. This is the one big thing we do each year. It does signify that the summer is winding down, but it is a great way to wrap it up.

I finally achieved my weight loss goal and have maintained my target weight for the past 10 weeks. At Weight Watchers, once you hit your goal, you need to stay within 2 pounds of it for 6 weigh ins (weeks) and then you get your lifetime status. Now I have to weigh in once every month, and be within 2 pounds, over or under, of my goal. So far, so good. I don't think I will weigh in every week because some weeks I will probably be playing with that 2 pounds over.

Christopher has expanded his on-line ministry to be part of other Christian sites. His recent job is working out well for him. He isn't in love with his job, but he does enjoy getting paid to work. That way he can relax and enjoy his wife in the evening, work on his music ministry, and take some time to be himself.
Speaking of being proud of someone, Samantha has completed her book education and is waiting for her clinicals to start in the fall. Once she completes that she can study for her boards and become an employable phlebotomist. She has gotten mostly A's, maybe one or two A-minus and has excelled in every part of her training. I know she is only my daughter because she brought love to my son, but I am as proud of her as a real mother could be.

Duke and I are adjusting to the fact that some day soon Chris and Sam will be leaving us and either moving in the Milwaukee area or ultimately, in another state where his ministry can grow. I think that we are excited to think that their lives are finally going to come together and they can be rid of us oldies, but it will be sad to not have the company of another woman in the house. I spent all those years with only men that Sam being here has totally spoiled me.

That's all for now. Maybe I can contribute again before I get too old.

happy anniversary!

Tomorrow, April 27, 2014, is Duke and my 40th wedding anniversary.

I would like to say something wonderful about this. I use the word "wonder" because it is a wonder in many ways.

I wonder why Duke stayed with me for 40 years. I know we were deeply in love when we married, and had many years of passion and excitement, tingling hand touches and gentle embraces. But I can be mean and selfish...I can be silly and childish...and he stays. Maybe the variety keeps him around.

I wonder what has kept us together all these years. I know we had many problems and situations that would have defeated other couples, and somehow I know that the strength of two people united is what made us victors. We were too stubborn to give up, a trait that is not always good, but seems to work.

I wonder why we are still happy. I know we have gone through health issues for both of us, mine far less serious than Dukes. We buried each other's parents, and Duke buried his only brother. We went to weddings and funerals, saw our friends children and grandchildren grow up.

I wonder what kind of parents we were. I know we stuck together while our son searched for meaning in his life and we waited for him to accept God's blessing to develop a music ministry. We inadvertently set an example so that Chris could see that marriage isn't all roses and sunshine, but rewarding for what you put in. As a result, he was able to seek out a soul mate and find Samantha, his true love and partner.

I wonder if everyone knows they can be married 40 years. I know that the errors of the past can be buried if you focus on building for the future. I know that pain can be eliminated by love. I know that forgiveness isn't a weakness. I know that being angry and having tense times isn't a sign of the end of things, but a fight to survive.

I wonder why we are different from others. I know we are different when I see us bow our heads in prayer before we eat...even at McDonalds. I know we are different when we leave a picnic or party early to attend church. I know we are different when we talk about the "good old days" of drinking and smoking too much...staying out too late and sleeping to long, and we laugh and shake our heads.

I wonder what the next years will be like. I know that the years to come are not in our hands, but in God's. I know that He has enabled us to grow, allowed us to change. I know that there is no sure thing, but that after 40 years, He has given us the tools to make a few more.

I wonder ... and then I think...I know.

Why my Church-home has let me down.

First, I have to clarify that it is my church and not God who has let me down.

Second, keep in mind that I love almost everything about my church home except this one little thing. And it is not a real let down as much as it is something I wish they did but do not.

Every year we have federal holidays that celebrate things like the American labor force, the American soldiers and the American Independence Day. Of these holidays, two of the three arrive on a Monday, the day after our church services. The third alternates days, but occasionally will occur on a weekend. In the twelve years that I have been a member, our church has never sung a patriotic song on the associated Sundays.

I know that we believe in the separation of church and state and that we are not a political body, but our country was founded as a haven for those oppressed for their status in life, their politics and their religious beliefs.

How can we ignore the beauty of “God Bless America” when we have the chance to sing it? It celebrates our personal love of our country, plus asks God to stand beside and with us. It should ignite us to take His message out of the church and into the streets. It doesn’t say God bless my church…or God bless all Christian churches. It says God Bless America!

Why don’t we embrace the words of “America the Beautiful?” It creates a visual image of spacious skies and waves of grain, all things that we imagine when we hear of the founding of this country. And the chorus specifically says, “… America, God shed His grace on thee.”

Have you recited the words of the “Battle Hymn of the Republic?” Here is a sample of the beauty of the lyric of this song…

Mine eyes have seen the glory of the coming of the Lord.

He is trampling out the vintage where the grapes of wrath are stored.
He has loosed the fateful lightning of His terrible swift sword.
His truth is marching on.

Glory Hallelujah! His truth is marching on.

The heck with a sample, this is too beautiful to not include it all.

 I have seen Him in the watch-fires of a hundred circling camps,

They have builded Him an altar in the evening dews and damps.
I can read his righteous sentence by the dim and flaring lamps.
His day is marching on.

Glory Hallelujah! His day is marching on.

I have read a fiery gospel writ in burnished rows of steel.

“As ye deal with my condemners, so with you my grace shall deal.
Let the Hero, born of woman, crush the serpent with his heel,
Since God is marching on.

Glory Hallelujah! Since God is marching on.

He has sounded forth the trumpet that shall never call retreat,

He is sifting out the hearts of men before His judgment seat.
Oh, be swift, my soul, to answer Him! Be jubilant, my feet!
Our God is marching on.

Glory Hallelujah! Our God is marching on.

In the beauty of the lilies Christ was born across the sea,

With a glory in His bosom what transfigures you and me.
As He died to make men holy, let us die to make men free,
While God is marching on.

Glory Hallelujah! While God is marching on.

He is coming like the glory of the morning on the wave,

He is Wisdom to the mighty, He is Succor to the brave.
So the world shall be His footstool, and the soul of Time His slave,
Our God is marching on.

 Glory Hallelujah! Our God is marching on.

I cry when I read this. I feel the power of God asking us to take a stand and fight for Him because of what He has blessed us with and what He so freely gives us.

I understand that the church may feel uncomfortable celebrating America and God’s unending favor shown on her during worship. But…

For our strength as a country; for our unity as the body of Christ; for the Spirit that enables us to stand and sing GOD BLESS AMERICA, I challenge every worship team in my church to play something patriotic while the congregation exits. And I challenge the congregation to not leave, but stand and sing loudly. This is the greatest nation in the world because we have the Greatest God.