Am I proud of my son?

Over 35 years ago, when I was a young woman of 23, married almost 4 years, I gave birth to my first and only child; a son we named Christopher Matthew.

And over the last 35 years, I have watched him grow and thrive and become the man he is today.

I am not saying it wasn’t a bumpy road. Past childhood illnesses and teen angst; through years of working wherever he could to trying to get that dream job; from finding the wrong woman to being blessed with the right one, he has learned and grown through it all.

I know that Chris looks at some opportunities as lost and has his share of regret, but he also is constantly looking to the future to rebuild and adapt to whatever life has thrown him.

When he would lose a job he would not stay home and sulk but send out his resume, accepting any position that would enable him to stay working and open doors to new and exciting things. When he didn’t have a girlfriend, he would leave himself open to finding one. He didn’t write off women because he had a bad experience, but just trusted that somewhere the perfect woman would find him.

When it comes to church and God he had a poor example in worship as his father and I worshipped on our own schedule and didn’t have any discipline in it. We made Chris attend Catholic school thru the 5^th grade and then moved him to the public school system.

This is the best thing we could have done as it opened a whole world to him and made him aware of the world of non-Catholic and ethnically diverse people. He also found out that not every family had 2 parents, or a house, or a close group of relatives. And he found out that some had things we did not.

The public school decision is also the worst thing we could have done. Chris was exposed to people who thought school was a joke and he was encouraged to not attend. He was a good student, being immediately promoted to the advanced classes and the benefits associated with being a shade better. A 6^th grader who knows he is smarter than everyone else doesn’t always have the easiest time on the playground though and before "bullying" was an issue, it was a character builder and he was strengthened as a result.

The result of his education was that he was encouraged to drop out of high school by a group of “friends” and only the sheer evilness of his parents kept him in school to high school graduation. Once out, he never thought of going back and he started his life as a working man. He realized as he got older that education was valuable, opening doors for him that his friends with no diploma or GED couldn't get through.

Seeing this, he went to technical school to get an associate’s degree in electronics. I don’t know what the exact degree is, but I do know it has provided him unique and valuable opportunites for work.

Chris dated regularly; some girls who were nice, some not so nice. He dated girls who were pretty, girls who were plain and girls who we never met so who knows what they looked like. He got engaged to a woman with a small child who may or may not have been an atheist or a Christian or a Wikken (but was definitely a witch!) depending on her mood. Although I didn’t relish this relationship I tried not to interfere – but he knew that I was displeased with his choice of wife. They broke up and I thank God for His intervention in their relationship. Chris had a few girlfriends after.

In one distressing period of his life his position was eliminated at his job. At the same time, he was without a girlfriend, and then found out that he had sleep apnea and would be spending most of his future sleeping hooked to a machine. He decided enough was enough and he was done with women…but somehow heard a voice telling him to go on a dating website “one more time” and he hooked up with Samantha – a lovely woman who he fell immediately in love with. She is fun, beautiful and a great cook and baker..and now my daughter-in-love.

 

Chris is not done yet. He and Sam moved in with us to help them finish a few things : paying off a few bills, getting Sam through school and allowing Chris in his spare time to create and pursue a new ministry.

Chris has an insatiable craving for music. All kinds of music. We went through Rap, Country, Blues...Bee bop, dance, hip hop and classical. His true love was always rock, from the early sounds of rock and roll to the beat-down hard rock of heavy metal. He found that his Christian faith was not honored by some of his musical preferences, and he has been purging his life of negative message music. But this almost annihilated his heavy metal collection.Then he found a world of small bands around the country and the world that were producing God and Faith based songs with the modern beats of the popular radio hits, the strong guitar and drumbeats of heavy metal, and the interesting and haunting alternative sounds that the young people yearn for. He found groups who he knew would attract and influence the musical taste of those who didn’t like the “old people’s” music you hear on commercial radio. Instead of sitting quietly in his room listening, he started contacting the bands, participating in on-line radio forums and shows, and set up a number of webpages dedicated to furthering the Message through music. He has tons of cd’s that he has purchased and been given by bands with a message of faith, God and Jesus. He regularly reviews the music and interviews the bands and invites everyone he talks with to join him in his ministry. Through Facebook, business cards and face to face communication he has gotten hundreds of people to listen to God’s message…some of them young people who just thought church music was for old people… some old people who wonder about the future of the church and now see that it is evolving with the times…even some of the bands who were ready to give up and found out that someone is listening, sharing and praising with them.

Chris has often told me that getting the Message to everyone, no matter the age or musical taste, is what he strives to accomplish.  

 I love that this blog is unfinished. I love that what could have been a sad story of failure and lost dreams is a story of love and fulfillment and faith. I love that my son is a work in progress at the ripe old age of 35.

Am I proud of my son?  Of course I am…wouldn’t you be?

to have faith 100% today

My devotion this morning told me to pray for “bigger faith.” It explained how when Jesus called Peter from the boat to meet Him on the water, Peter left the boat in faith. He knew that Jesus, his Lord, was there and would meet him. But Peter lost focus. He turned from the loving face of Jesus and saw the troubles of the world – the wind – the storm.

And once he turned from the face of Jesus, he started to sink. Jesus, though, immediately responded and reached out His hand to right Peter.

How often when we pray for something do we stand up and then forget to leave it in God’s capable hands? How often do we pray for help and then try to solve things ourselves? Or worse yet, look around and focus on the elements that will keep your prayer from being answered?

Today, when you look for a new job…or a cure to illness…or a piece of solace in trouble, don’t see the other applicants, the mortality statistics or the coldness of those around you. Instead, see only God and what He is doing to your benefit.

Do not be one of little faith who reaches out at the last minute, but a steadfast believer who throws problems to God to make room for praise, adoration and love.

it all depends on how you look at it.

I get up at 3:30 in the morning to take my pit bull-mix dogs out for some exercise. Although walking is my preference, I have recently been trying to run at least a few tenths of a mile, usually on a secluded road behind the main street where, that early, you find no traffic, no people and no stop signs.

This morning I took off and either snagged my toe on a warped piece of concrete or on the back end of a dog that was not running quite fast enough, but either way, I felt myself losing my balance and plummeting to the earth. (aside: at 5’3” the plummet wasn’t that far, but when you are going down you feel like you are 7’1”!)

As I neared the ground, it occurred to me to put down my right hand and flip my body to land on my back on the patch of grass between the cement walkway and the street. Sure enough, I flipped over, didn’t scrape anything except my right hand, and I laid there to catch my breath.

 We now have three possible interpretations of what happened next...

1)      10 month old pit mix view: Clay Mutthew saw me on the ground and assumed it was playtime. He jumped on my chest with a smile on his face and his tail wagging. (by the way, the 10 year old pit, Faith, didn’t do anything but look at me impatiently, so I would continue the walk.)

2)      How I saw it: Clay, misinterpreting my falling for a heart attack, jumped on my chest to administer CPR…even though the first rule is if the victim is breathing and alert, they probably don’t need CPR. At least he tried.

3)      How someone would have viewed it had they looked out and seen the event: old woman lying on ground being attacked by vicious dog. Call 911!

Luckily I was not hurt, the dog was not impounded and we were able to finish our walk with no additional incident.

Maybe I’ll try running some other day.

Eulogy for my Father, Frederick W. Pearson

Many people have asked me what my dad was like.

I have two answers to this – how he was and how he is.

First I will tell you how he was.

Dad was without anger but able to get angry when necessary. I never felt his discipline through spanking but through reason and expressed disappointment at my actions. Trust me – a spanking would have been better.

Dad was a hard worker, sometimes working 2 or 3 jobs to make ends meet while we were growing up.

He let us know what he did and why so we would see the value in a job done well and not resent his absence from us.

Dad was a God fearing man, who I never saw sin by conventional standards, never heard him swear, or do anything purposely to hurt another person.

Dad was generous with the time he had left over. He was a loving father and stepfather, a good husband, a trusting friend and valued employee.

 That’s how he was… now I’m going to tell you how he is.

Dad is disciplined and educated – he was a military man who did his job with finesse and showed talents from riding in the mounted cavalry to being the mess cook for his reserve unit. Never one to be second best, he was also not someone to pull rank on others.  You can see military precision with human touch personified in my sister Mary Beth.

 Dad is gentle and compassionate – dedicated to his church, his God and his faith. He goes to church on Sunday, observes the sacraments and is a fixture in his pew, at his time, with his family. You can see his example and values at work in my sister, Elizabeth.  

Dad is easily humored. He loves the company of men and women, preferring women I think. He is a faithful and loving husband. He is as comfortable in the audience as he is as the star – the focus of attention from others. If you want to see what I mean, look at my brother, Kevin.

Dad is energetic, happy with his nice home and well groomed yard. (even if it is us children who groom it.) He loves his children so hard that he hurts when they hurt. He encourages them to be more than just someone’s kids. He is strong in will to the point of being stubborn. He doesn’t tolerate stupidity or laziness, and is the person you know will follow through 100%...even if you are only requesting 50%. His zest for life and family is magnified when you look at my sister Elaine.

Dad is a writer and reader – a philosopher and psychologist. Dad is there with an open ear and open heart for his family and friends as well. Dad delights in a good meal. Dad enjoys a gathering with his whole brood as well as a private gathering at one of our homes. He is a lover of music…a follower of his favorite comedy shows from the past... an appreciator of drama, comedy; plays and movies.

I would like to say you can see this by looking at me, but you can see all this by observing and talking to any of us. Dad is not proud or vain but we are, and with very good reason.

We’re Freddie’s kids.

can I get angry?

My daily devotion, Get Up With God, asked for questions - the author of the page promised to try to address every problem. This is what I sent him...I will print the answer if I get one.

 

Can I get angry? I don't mean over spilt milk or stubbing my toe. When someone does something that hurts or harms me, sometimes prayer isn't enough.

It's beneficial to me to know that I handle a particular situation with poise and silence when my heart is crying and all I want to do is raise my hand to strike. At the same time, my brain is trying to figure a way to make the perpetrator suffer, or at least, be made aware of their cruelty and become sorrowful as a result.

Can I get angry? Can I be hurt? Is it ok to avoid someone who obviously needs to reach away from me and to Jesus?

Can I cry out to God to be my revenge? Can I ask God to administer human justice?

I feel that praying for someone's ultimate demise transfers the sin to me, but sometimes people make it so hard to be a Christian.

Can I get angry?

I hereby declare today, Thursday, May 16, 2013, COUNT YOUR BLESSINGS DAY!!!

I was thinking this morning about how my job was going nowhere.

I thought about all the things in life I can’t afford to have.

 I thought about all the pretty clothes and shoes I can’t buy.

I thought about the rich food I don’t eat and the drinks I no longer drink.

I thought about my aches and pains and gray hair.

I thought about not having time to finish my daily devotion this morning and how I would have to finish it at work.

BUT THEN…

I thought how at least I have a job that I love.

I thought of all the things I have, my house, my car, my “stuff”.

I thought about the abundance of clothes I do have, for every season and every occasion.

I thought of the new healthy life style I have and that my pantry fully stocked.  

I thought of the flowing clean water I have at the turn of a handle.

I took a breath and thought of those who can’t do that simple thing.

I thought of the martyrs worldwide who are persecuted for praying in the apparent non-privacy of their homes and lives.

I have so many blessings and I still worry about things that I don’t have. I always said that when I was a child, I didn’t have everything, but I remember wanting for nothing. That is still true today.

So I count my blessings because there is nothing on the list of things I don’t have that will prevent me from praising God.

There is nothing on my list of things I have that was not provided by the grace and love of God.

So, count your blessings today, and every day. GOD IS GOOD!!

 

totally screwed up?

I was thinking of how to have more isn't always the best and how you should simplify your life and get back to basics to honor God. I thought how possessions are not the only thing that will ensure a life of peace and success. I thought of how Jesus spoke to give it all up to follow Him.

I thought how I should write this down so that the world knows that I know about them all.  I question how people can have so much stuff and feel that is what gives them happiness and acceptance. I almost feel sorry for all those with tons of stuff and money who don't have the peace of God in with it.

I am so proud of myself for not looking down on them for their affluence. In fact, I actually thought of all this while at my job, looking up stuff on my Kindle Fire, remembering that I should sync it to my home laptop...and I can do that tonight while watching my big tv, in a comfortable living room, eating a dinner that I just decided to go out and buy because the hundreds of dollars of food in my house are not what I want tonight...

Ever have a moment when you are looking through a window at the sorry souls with everything on earth and nothing in heaven...searching for God as they try to decide between possessions and faith, and you suddenly see you are looking in a mirror?