What do nonbelievers do when they lay down to sleep?
Do they relax with milk or wine or just start counting sheep?
Do they recall the little things that made their day a mess
Or do they wish they could be rich and have to work much less?
I wonder if they know that when you rest at night in love,
Knowing that your life is under guard by those above,
The pain from life is just a load that each of us must bear
But we can turn it over to the Lord’s unending care.
I wonder how they sleep when life could end at any time
And they don’t have a promise of eternity in mind.
I wonder if we told them that the peace we have is real,
Would they allow the Savior in, their wounded souls to heal?
Would they respond that we are nuts and turn their eyes away?
Do they know we won’t let them off? Won’t let them get away?
Will we express our faith and love and tell them of God’s will?
Will we convince them He can help their empty hearts be filled?
Do we show them through our actions; our words and thoughts and deeds
That God above, the Lord of Love, supplies their every need?
Do we show them the love we have as Christians can be shared
To all who throw their selves aside – who step to Christ – who dare?
Did we hold back, or take the reins and charge to fight the fight
That keeps them tossing, turning as they try to rest each night?
If they became believers, their minds could rest in peace
Knowing that through God above, anxiety will cease.
Do we help them see that God alone, in life their souls will keep?
What DO nonbelievers do when they lay down to sleep?
Tuesday, September 7, 2010
Thursday, July 29, 2010
2 of 4
Liz was born 7 1/2 years after me. She was definitely an interesting addition to our family. Mary and I had been so about us for so long that she was like a new doll that we were required to share. We used to tease her about having to trade in a very popular pet monkey (which we never had) to make room for her. She put up with us abusing her toys - specifically a bird that hung briefly from a spring on our bedroom ceiling. I guess you can only throw so many pillows at a hanging animal before one catches. Boy was she mad at us.
Mary and Liz shared a double bed and that created a bond for them that Liz and I never had. Liz was sort of Mary's baby sister - I got my own later, but that blog is yet to come.
Liz was always the one who depended on her own friends. In truth, she was required to make her own friends since Mary and I were similar ages, and when she started needing friends Elaine was just too young.
When I was in 8th grade, Liz started kindergarten and we would walk to and from school together. It was fun to finally be the big sister.
Mom raised the younger kids much differently from Mary and me. There was a tolerance for fault and lack of rules that allowed Liz to develop her own style at a young age. Mary and I had a level of discipline never transferred to any of our younger siblings.
Liz paved a rather crazy road wearing risque clothing while hanging with friends who were none too smart, boyfriends who can only be described as missing a chromosome and doing jobs that required minimal commitment. But suddenly she got it - she got it all. She decided that being a waitress was not enough and became a hostess at Red Lobster. Then to a factory job where her ability to adapt made her a valuable (though unappreciated) worker.She decided her choice in men wasn't guaranteeing a future and picked Andrew - a normal guy with drive, ambition and intelligence. She changed her way of acting and settled into a married life with a nice home (actually bought the house she grew up in) a responsible position and a wonderful husband. She recently went to school to graduate as a nail technician. She works full time at a spa, pampering the rich and beautifying the plain. Her incredible work ethic and unique personality make her a natural to work with the public. People depend on her, need her and appreciate her. She shines now that she is in job that requires her artistic skills and rewards her for her work.
Liz is very artistic. She paints, works with yarns and threads, decorates cakes. She is a good housekeeper, not because she is so neat, but because she values her home. Her home is an example of her artistic ability, her spiritual nature and her need to be in control of her life. After years of searching and wondering what she was destined to be, she is finally achieving it.
There is a simplicity about her that may come from satisfaction, or from not really caring, but whatever it is, she has made it work.
Mary and Liz shared a double bed and that created a bond for them that Liz and I never had. Liz was sort of Mary's baby sister - I got my own later, but that blog is yet to come.
Liz was always the one who depended on her own friends. In truth, she was required to make her own friends since Mary and I were similar ages, and when she started needing friends Elaine was just too young.
When I was in 8th grade, Liz started kindergarten and we would walk to and from school together. It was fun to finally be the big sister.
Mom raised the younger kids much differently from Mary and me. There was a tolerance for fault and lack of rules that allowed Liz to develop her own style at a young age. Mary and I had a level of discipline never transferred to any of our younger siblings.
Liz paved a rather crazy road wearing risque clothing while hanging with friends who were none too smart, boyfriends who can only be described as missing a chromosome and doing jobs that required minimal commitment. But suddenly she got it - she got it all. She decided that being a waitress was not enough and became a hostess at Red Lobster. Then to a factory job where her ability to adapt made her a valuable (though unappreciated) worker.She decided her choice in men wasn't guaranteeing a future and picked Andrew - a normal guy with drive, ambition and intelligence. She changed her way of acting and settled into a married life with a nice home (actually bought the house she grew up in) a responsible position and a wonderful husband. She recently went to school to graduate as a nail technician. She works full time at a spa, pampering the rich and beautifying the plain. Her incredible work ethic and unique personality make her a natural to work with the public. People depend on her, need her and appreciate her. She shines now that she is in job that requires her artistic skills and rewards her for her work.
Liz is very artistic. She paints, works with yarns and threads, decorates cakes. She is a good housekeeper, not because she is so neat, but because she values her home. Her home is an example of her artistic ability, her spiritual nature and her need to be in control of her life. After years of searching and wondering what she was destined to be, she is finally achieving it.
There is a simplicity about her that may come from satisfaction, or from not really caring, but whatever it is, she has made it work.
Friday, July 16, 2010
Doubts
On July 2nd there was a Gathering at a lovely church in Milwaukee where a group of us got together to praise. There was prayer and song and dance. Our choir participated and we sang and honored the Lord with everyone. It was very moving.
There is a problem though...I am not sure if I belonged there. I am very insecure in my value to my faith. I have long questioned my motives. Am I good to look good to others or to please God?
If I lift a situation in prayer, is it to truly turn it over to God or to find some scapegoat in case things go horribly wrong...or is it that I figure if God helps, the result will be better for ME?
I am filled with doubt and questions about my motives. If you are good because you don't want to be bad, are you bad for not seeing the source of good? If you praise with your heart and soul and then someone commends you for it, are you ok to be thankful and appreciative of the compliment?
What happens when you do a good job and forget to say it was God who helped you through? Does a good deed lose it's meaning when you tell someone you did it? If you help an old lady at the grocery store and brag about it, does the act become almost sinful as a result of the bragging? If you approach a situation as a chance to be good in the eyes of God, does that make it less spontaneous and more self serving? Do I get to heaven because I did things that I knew would please God or did things that truly pleased God?
Am I a good person? I don't know.
There is a problem though...I am not sure if I belonged there. I am very insecure in my value to my faith. I have long questioned my motives. Am I good to look good to others or to please God?
If I lift a situation in prayer, is it to truly turn it over to God or to find some scapegoat in case things go horribly wrong...or is it that I figure if God helps, the result will be better for ME?
I am filled with doubt and questions about my motives. If you are good because you don't want to be bad, are you bad for not seeing the source of good? If you praise with your heart and soul and then someone commends you for it, are you ok to be thankful and appreciative of the compliment?
What happens when you do a good job and forget to say it was God who helped you through? Does a good deed lose it's meaning when you tell someone you did it? If you help an old lady at the grocery store and brag about it, does the act become almost sinful as a result of the bragging? If you approach a situation as a chance to be good in the eyes of God, does that make it less spontaneous and more self serving? Do I get to heaven because I did things that I knew would please God or did things that truly pleased God?
Am I a good person? I don't know.
Wednesday, July 7, 2010
1 of 4
How do I start? How do I define the relationship with the one person who is totally different from me but absolutely the same?
Mary and I were born a little over 13 months apart and neither of us can remember life without the other. Granted we each had our own friends and interests, but because of her I never had the heartache of losing a best friend - because she was always there for me and was my best friend.
People thought we were the same, but we were so different. We were light to each other's dark and sun to each other's moon.
Mary has the beauty I will never have. It may be her self-confidence, her drive, her ambition to be the best she can be. Whatever makes her beautiful is past hair and makeup - beyond weight and fancy clothes. It is something that will be there no matter what is seen by the untrained eye.
She fought for everything she has. She turned a desire for a good education into over 25 years in the armed forces as an Army Nurse. She still practices her trade working when she wants at nursing homes and facilities in her area.
She loves her children with her whole heart and, as all mothers know, even when that heart is broken, her bond of love to her kids is not. She is a doting and creative grandmother who is now able to love with no restraint. As my mother told me, grandmothers spoil grandchildren...get used to it. Mary epitomizes that.
Mary is generous and good natured. I love when she walks into a room because her very essense lights it up, and I just sort of bask in that glow. I followed in her shadow for many years, and when I tried to remove myself, I had a sense of loss like none I had ever known. I learned that the shadow was part of me. Being her second made me a stronger first in my own life.
We always joked that when we imagine ourselves rich, famous musicians (neither of us with incredible talent, by the way) she would see herself as the lead singer and I would see myself as back-up. Mary was always my star. Where I am support staff at work, she is administration.
Mary and I were raised to be the best - the brightest - the strongest we could be. We were encouraged to love each other and be different which is why we are so good when together...so connected when apart.
She sometimes wonders why I introduce her as my older sister. It's because I want people to know she is a little older, a little smarter and a little better than me. It isn't years that older defines. I will always look up to her and respect her. People need to know that.
I love her and am proud of her. I am honored to be her sister. Thanks Mom and Dad.
Mary and I were born a little over 13 months apart and neither of us can remember life without the other. Granted we each had our own friends and interests, but because of her I never had the heartache of losing a best friend - because she was always there for me and was my best friend.
People thought we were the same, but we were so different. We were light to each other's dark and sun to each other's moon.
Mary has the beauty I will never have. It may be her self-confidence, her drive, her ambition to be the best she can be. Whatever makes her beautiful is past hair and makeup - beyond weight and fancy clothes. It is something that will be there no matter what is seen by the untrained eye.
She fought for everything she has. She turned a desire for a good education into over 25 years in the armed forces as an Army Nurse. She still practices her trade working when she wants at nursing homes and facilities in her area.
She loves her children with her whole heart and, as all mothers know, even when that heart is broken, her bond of love to her kids is not. She is a doting and creative grandmother who is now able to love with no restraint. As my mother told me, grandmothers spoil grandchildren...get used to it. Mary epitomizes that.
Mary is generous and good natured. I love when she walks into a room because her very essense lights it up, and I just sort of bask in that glow. I followed in her shadow for many years, and when I tried to remove myself, I had a sense of loss like none I had ever known. I learned that the shadow was part of me. Being her second made me a stronger first in my own life.
We always joked that when we imagine ourselves rich, famous musicians (neither of us with incredible talent, by the way) she would see herself as the lead singer and I would see myself as back-up. Mary was always my star. Where I am support staff at work, she is administration.
Mary and I were raised to be the best - the brightest - the strongest we could be. We were encouraged to love each other and be different which is why we are so good when together...so connected when apart.
She sometimes wonders why I introduce her as my older sister. It's because I want people to know she is a little older, a little smarter and a little better than me. It isn't years that older defines. I will always look up to her and respect her. People need to know that.
I love her and am proud of her. I am honored to be her sister. Thanks Mom and Dad.
Wednesday, June 30, 2010
What's next?
Why do I read things and then my mind goes on and on wondering why it isn't done. For example - I just read a devotional about death where it referred to living a worthwhile life to face God. But I am not concerned about meeting God - I know that my life is still being constructed and when I meet God we will have an honest conversation.
What I worry about is what happens to my spot here on earth. I want to leave a void in the lives of my friends that only Jesus can fill. Especially for my nonbelieving friends. I want the conversations about me to be how I made wonderful things happen by my faith and dedication to Jesus.
I dream that my death will be uneventful. I think that the more people love you, the easier to let you go if they see your confidence that death is not the end.
I don't know why death is on my mind. I just know that "life" is in my heart and isn't that the point?
What I worry about is what happens to my spot here on earth. I want to leave a void in the lives of my friends that only Jesus can fill. Especially for my nonbelieving friends. I want the conversations about me to be how I made wonderful things happen by my faith and dedication to Jesus.
I dream that my death will be uneventful. I think that the more people love you, the easier to let you go if they see your confidence that death is not the end.
I don't know why death is on my mind. I just know that "life" is in my heart and isn't that the point?
Monday, June 28, 2010
the funeral
Saturday I drove to Ripon for a funeral. That in itself means nothing. Many people travel further than that to honor a grieving family. What made it unique is that it was the first Catholic funeral I have been to in a long, long time.
I know many will say that Catholics are all about the ceremony - the processions and candles - the vestments and symbols. But, this was a beautiful experience. Maybe it was what many would call "over the top."
I prefer to think that the grief stricken family was reassured at the familiarity of the prayers and songs. I was moved by the words the priest said. I was inspired by the sermon. The priest had reviewed the private notes of the eternal guest and commented on her life of pain and suffering and her courageous choice to give her future to God.
There was a beauty and gentleness, even while we all cried. I didn't know Nicole, but I knew her sister. I knew that to the end, Nicole was loved and the whole service was a reminder to us all that there is no end if we truly believe.
What will happen to all those people is not sure - what happened on a sunny Saturday, is sure. That a select group who came to mourn was renewed and released back to the real world totally in God's presence is what matters.
I hope I can live my life in enough faith to leave this kind of aura over my friends and family. I hope I can love my sisters and brother enough to make sure that when they die, everyone knows more about when they lived.
My new goal is to do 4 more blogs - one each for my siblings so they know from now to the end how much they are loved by me.
I know many will say that Catholics are all about the ceremony - the processions and candles - the vestments and symbols. But, this was a beautiful experience. Maybe it was what many would call "over the top."
I prefer to think that the grief stricken family was reassured at the familiarity of the prayers and songs. I was moved by the words the priest said. I was inspired by the sermon. The priest had reviewed the private notes of the eternal guest and commented on her life of pain and suffering and her courageous choice to give her future to God.
There was a beauty and gentleness, even while we all cried. I didn't know Nicole, but I knew her sister. I knew that to the end, Nicole was loved and the whole service was a reminder to us all that there is no end if we truly believe.
What will happen to all those people is not sure - what happened on a sunny Saturday, is sure. That a select group who came to mourn was renewed and released back to the real world totally in God's presence is what matters.
I hope I can live my life in enough faith to leave this kind of aura over my friends and family. I hope I can love my sisters and brother enough to make sure that when they die, everyone knows more about when they lived.
My new goal is to do 4 more blogs - one each for my siblings so they know from now to the end how much they are loved by me.
Thursday, June 3, 2010
Why superheroes hide their powers from their friends.
I have a secret power. Not faster than a speeding bullet or more powerful than a locomotive...can hardly leap a sleeping dog in a single bound, but I discovered an ability more powerful than any of those.
Let me clarify. Yesterday after an incredibly long day, I had a relaxing pedicure and then stopped at the grocery store on the way home to get potato chips and milk. Hamburgers were planned for dinner and I was elected to swing into Pick N Save for the chips. Milk was an added request that I received via text on my way out of the salon. I was not enthused because it was raining and chilly and I had to leave the car to run to the store and then out again and when I got home no one had so much as opened the burger buns. So guess who had to pull the burgers out, season them, toast the buns as they were not completely defrosted...put out the condiments, set the table...you got it! Me! And I had been at work by six that morning and it was already 7pm...boy was I pissed!!!
So I didn't talk to anyone and just threw things around the kitchen and got it all done and when I had to say grace at dinner, it was short and not very sweet. Bless this food - amen...because bless this family and friends and dinner was too much for me to ask cuz I was MAD!!
Then I heard my son snap at his girlfriend and she snapped right back - and my husband whined at my son who retorted rudely and then we had the quietest dinner because no one was talking to anyone. And I realized that by walking into this quiet group and going on the attack immediately, I had discovered a super power. My power deflated all good will, discouraged all pleasantries and destroyed the evening for everyone. What had I done?
What if I had approached my family with warmth instead of anger? We'll never know what it would have done to yesterday...I can't change that. But by hiding my power I can change today. And tomorrow will be better.
Let me clarify. Yesterday after an incredibly long day, I had a relaxing pedicure and then stopped at the grocery store on the way home to get potato chips and milk. Hamburgers were planned for dinner and I was elected to swing into Pick N Save for the chips. Milk was an added request that I received via text on my way out of the salon. I was not enthused because it was raining and chilly and I had to leave the car to run to the store and then out again and when I got home no one had so much as opened the burger buns. So guess who had to pull the burgers out, season them, toast the buns as they were not completely defrosted...put out the condiments, set the table...you got it! Me! And I had been at work by six that morning and it was already 7pm...boy was I pissed!!!
So I didn't talk to anyone and just threw things around the kitchen and got it all done and when I had to say grace at dinner, it was short and not very sweet. Bless this food - amen...because bless this family and friends and dinner was too much for me to ask cuz I was MAD!!
Then I heard my son snap at his girlfriend and she snapped right back - and my husband whined at my son who retorted rudely and then we had the quietest dinner because no one was talking to anyone. And I realized that by walking into this quiet group and going on the attack immediately, I had discovered a super power. My power deflated all good will, discouraged all pleasantries and destroyed the evening for everyone. What had I done?
What if I had approached my family with warmth instead of anger? We'll never know what it would have done to yesterday...I can't change that. But by hiding my power I can change today. And tomorrow will be better.
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