I was trapped.
I went through my basement looking for something to defend
myself from that multi-legged creature. All I could find was a jar of Spray
Shellac that I had been using to seal a plaster statue. I approached the steps, one hand firmly on the spray nozzle, hoping the horrible thing had left the step and burrowed into a location I could not see.
He was still there. I sprang into action, focusing the
sticky spray on the monster and pushing the spray button down in one fell
swoop. He took off! He got to the spot where the wall met the step, then turned
to race across the stair plank. I was relentless, holding the button, spraying as
hard as I could. And he moved slower, and s l o w e r, and finally so s l o w that
I could hold the can over him and cover him with the sticky, fast drying, shellac.
There he was – attached to my step in a clear, crystal
casing. I was saved.
But now what? I looked in the basement for inspiration
and found a piece of wood, approximately 3x6 inches and 1 inch thick. I placed
the wood on the shining shell of shellac and went upstairs, hopping over the step
where the wood covered, varnished centipede was entombed.
When my family returned from wherever they were that day, I was
calmly sitting in the family room, watching tv… “oh honey? I killed a centipede
while you were gone. See that wood on the step? Could you clean it up, please?”
They thought I had crushed it under the wood. What?! Do people really do that?
Better question: Do they not know me at all? That would have been so ordinary.
And yes, they did clean it up.
Until next time, centipede community...until next time.
