Over 35 years ago, when I was a
young woman of 23, married almost 4 years, I gave birth to my first and only
child; a son we named Christopher Matthew.
And over the last 35 years, I
have watched him grow and thrive and become the man he is today.
I am not saying it wasn’t a
bumpy road. Past childhood illnesses and teen angst; through years of working
wherever he could to trying to get that dream job; from finding the wrong woman
to being blessed with the right one, he has learned and grown through it all.
I know that Chris looks at some
opportunities as lost and has his share of regret, but he also is constantly
looking to the future to rebuild and adapt to whatever life has thrown him.
When he would lose a job he
would not stay home and sulk but send out his resume, accepting any position
that would enable him to stay working and open doors to new and exciting
things. When he didn’t have a girlfriend, he would leave himself open to
finding one. He didn’t write off women because he had a bad experience, but
just trusted that somewhere the perfect woman would find him.
When it comes to church and
God he had a poor example in worship as his father and I worshipped on our own
schedule and didn’t have any discipline in it. We made Chris attend Catholic
school thru the 5th grade and then moved him to the public school
system.
This is the best thing we could
have done as it opened a whole world to him and made him aware of the world of
non-Catholic and ethnically diverse people. He also found out that not every
family had 2 parents, or a house, or a close group of relatives. And he found
out that some had things we did not.
The public school decision is
also the worst thing we could have done. Chris was exposed to people who
thought school was a joke and he was encouraged to not attend. He was a good
student, being immediately promoted to the advanced classes and the benefits
associated with being a shade better. A 6th grader who knows he is
smarter than everyone else doesn’t always have the easiest time on the
playground though and before "bullying" was an issue, it was a character builder and he was strengthened as a result.
The result of his education was
that he was encouraged to drop out of high school by a group of “friends” and only the sheer
evilness of his parents kept him in school to high school graduation. Once out,
he never thought of going back and he started his life as a working man. He
realized as he got older that education was valuable, opening doors for him that his
friends with no diploma or GED couldn't get through.
Seeing this, he went to
technical school to get an associate’s degree in electronics. I don’t know what
the exact degree is, but I do know it has provided him unique and valuable opportunites
for work.
Chris dated regularly; some
girls who were nice, some not so nice. He dated girls who were pretty, girls
who were plain and girls who we never met so who knows what they looked like.
He got engaged to a woman with a small child who may or may not have been an
atheist or a Christian or a Wikken (but was definitely a witch!) depending on her mood. Although I
didn’t relish this relationship I tried not to interfere – but he knew that I
was displeased with his choice of wife. They broke up and I thank God for His
intervention in their relationship. Chris had a few girlfriends after.
In one distressing period of
his life his position was eliminated at his job. At the same time, he was without a girlfriend, and
then found out that he had sleep apnea and would be spending most of his future
sleeping hooked to a machine. He decided enough was enough and he was done with
women…but somehow heard a voice telling him to go on a dating website “one more
time” and he hooked up with Samantha – a lovely woman who he fell immediately
in love with. She is fun, beautiful and a great cook and baker..and now my
daughter-in-love.
Chris is not done yet. He and
Sam moved in with us to help them finish a few things : paying off a few bills,
getting Sam through school and allowing Chris in his spare time to create and
pursue a new ministry.
Chris has an insatiable craving
for music. All kinds of music. We went through Rap, Country, Blues...Bee bop,
dance, hip hop and classical. His true love was always rock, from the early
sounds of rock and roll to the beat-down hard rock of heavy metal. He found
that his Christian faith was not honored by some of his musical preferences,
and he has been purging his life of negative message music. But this almost annihilated his heavy metal collection.Then he found a world of small bands around the country and the world that were
producing God and Faith based songs with the modern beats of the popular radio
hits, the strong guitar and drumbeats of heavy metal, and the interesting and haunting alternative sounds that the young people yearn for. He found groups who he knew would attract and influence the musical taste of those
who didn’t like the “old people’s” music you hear on commercial radio. Instead
of sitting quietly in his room listening, he started contacting the bands,
participating in on-line radio forums and shows, and set up a number of
webpages dedicated to furthering the Message through music. He has tons of cd’s
that he has purchased and been given by bands with a message of
faith, God and Jesus. He regularly reviews the music and interviews the bands
and invites everyone he talks with to join him in his ministry. Through Facebook,
business cards and face to face communication he has gotten hundreds of people
to listen to God’s message…some of them young people who just thought church
music was for old people… some old people who wonder about the future of the
church and now see that it is evolving with the times…even some of the bands who
were ready to give up and found out that someone is listening, sharing and
praising with them.
Chris has often told me that
getting the Message to everyone, no matter the age or musical taste, is what he
strives to accomplish.
Am I proud of my son? Of course I am…wouldn’t you be?
