What do you want on your tombstone?

Old joke...
A group of seniors was asked what they wanted to hear from their friends and family at their funeral...
The first said, "I want to hear 'he was a good man"'
The second took it a step further and said, "It would be nice for them to say 'he was a loving husband and good father'"
The third thought it over and said, "I'd like someone to say 'look! He's breathing!'"

Being a Christian, I wonder if I will be at peace when I die. If I died today, would I hear accolades or would I hear relief? Would my friends even show up or think about it and decide for whatever reason that I would rather have them have a fun evening than go to a depressing wake?
Would they miss me or just find someone else to sit behind my desk at work, fill my seat at choir, and meet for coffee? Will the hole I leave be filled with love or distractions?
I think that with all we face daily, the trials, the temptations, the sadness and the confusion, all we can do is grab tightly to our faith and muddle through.
At my funeral I hope that they say "No matter what, she never lost her faith." The rest will fall in place if I remain faithful to the end.

4 of 4

Elaine - the baby. I know that is not a title a person wants to be saddled with through their whole life, but Elaine was the last of us. She is 12 years younger than me and I doted on her from the beginning. Where MaryBeth had Liz to be a sister to, I had Elaine.When she was young and would wake in the night, she would come to my twin bed and I would scoot over and make room for her. Mom always wanted to know why I didn't take her back to her own bed and, honestly, that meant I would have had to get out of my warm, toasty bed and walk across the hall and it was so much better to just invite her in and snuggle. I loved her for her cuddly nature - her curly blond hair - her lisp caused in part by falling on her upper teeth and damaging them - and her competitive nature. Of those things, the lisp was the only thing she grew out of. Unlike me, she always wanted to be number one. She was (and still is) an accomplished athlete. With my mother's help, she petitioned her grade school to be allowed to play football with the boys at lunch break. In those days, girls played girl games - only boys were allowed to play football. And once she was allowed to, she did play, even though it was not her sport. She set her goals in high school to be one of the better students, one of the first sophomores to get a senior varsity letter in sports, one of the most popular and well loved. She played softball with a group of girls, a few of whom she played with for the next twenty plus years. An excellent soccer player, she now assists her daughters' soccer teams as a team mother, manager and referee. Elaine was a member of the ski patrol, and even tried to teach me how to ski; a valiant effort on her part but I failed miserably.
I worry about Elaine because her nature is so competitive that I fear she will die some day of disappointment. She is so incredibly good at what she does, that if God takes her abilities away, would she be able to function as a normal person? I have the same concern for Clark Kent, David Banner and Diana Trevor. No one should be forced to live in the regular world by hiding their super powers.
When Elaine decided to marry, she picked a man who had the same drive and spirit she did. This is quite a match as each not only wanted to be the best, but to support each other in their achievements. To make things even better, they became the parents of two exceptional girls - Rachael, the eldest, is a first place person - she pushes herself to be number one at school and in sports, mostly soccer and Kayleigh, who is a great athlete, but seems to just want to be good at it all, not having picked a special sport yet. Both girls play basketball, a game their mom never played, and soccer and softball, two sports Elaine loved and excelled at. Elaine first "gold" was in volleyball, but her girls aren't old enough to be part of an accomplished team yet.
Elaine can't be categorized. She has friends to pray with, friends to do sports with, friends to drink with. She is a good Catholic girl who supports her parish by teaching Sunday school and then goes to a Packer party...yes, she is an avid sports fan as well as a player. Elaine is the one most likely to drink the guys under the table and still be able to tell you the game highlights and lowlights. She is a good listener, an incessant talker and an accomplished musician. She hosts parties that no one wants to leave and is a gracious and funny guest at your home.
Elaine is so good at everything that it is hard to not resent her or be jealous - but, as I know from experience, she only puts the pressure to be number one on herself and supports others (me) half-baked efforts.
When we married, my brother and sisters became Dukes special family, but he bonded with Elaine the most. It was a lot to do with her loving nature and the fact that she treated him like a big brother. He was so much older that she just folded into his affection for her and was often more like my daughter than my sister.
Many times she packed up an infant and three year old and drove thirty miles to sit with me when my husband was hospitalized - plus sent over dinners and gave me monetary help to get by till things normalized. None of this was asked for or expected, but I needed the help and she recognized it. For the first time, I was the one who wandered to her bed, woke her up and she scooted over and let me in.

My baby sister - my friend, Elaine.

3 of 4

Kevin - yes, of the five of us, there is a boy. I was overjoyed as I had one older and one younger sister when he was born and really wanted a brother. He was a big baby, something my parents never got over, and they told many stories about it. I am sure that since he works very hard to stay healthy now, he really appreciates hearing Dad tell those old stories about his 10+ pound baby boy.
Kevin was loved, protected and bullied by his 4 sisters. This explains two things - that he moved to Minneapolis years ago and never looked back and that he didn't marry till he was 44 years old. He dated many lovely women, but none really stuck till Lacey. He has always been a good friend for men and women alike, and treats women with respect and admiration. (this directly corrolates to the "bullied" line - you respect women because THEY HIT!)
Kevin has a group of friends that are as welcome in our family as he is in theirs. Being an only son, he created a brotherhood with many of his high school buddies and they remain a tight group today, despite their differences in occupation, education and location.
Kevin is the only performing artist of us. Although we are all quick witted and easily amused, he went to improvisation classes and regularly performs in troupes and plays - has appeared in corporate instructional videos and hosted a local cable show.
Kevin makes it a priority to stay out of the tension and friction that can develop between us sisters, mainly because he loves us all individually. There is no "I like Mary better" or "I love Liz more" because he respects and loves us each for the things we each have to offer. He loves my husband (the feeling is mutual) and they tell stories about things they did together that the rest of us are relieved we did not participate in. Ask him why he doesn't have a Purple Rain cassette.
Kevin has a deep love of his family and this is manifested in his desire to visit with each of us when he comes to Milwaukee. He makes time to see us all individually and makes you believe that he came to town just to see you.
When he and Lacey decided to marry we all wondered why...why did he finally decide to settle with someone and why would a young, exciting woman want to marry him. But when you see them together, the questions cease. They appear to be good friends and genuinely love and enjoy each other. They really have the old PDA thing down as they are always holding hands, touching arms or exchanging looks. And they laugh together...something you need to survive as a couple.
Kevin learned much from his sisters and has taught us things too. He has patience, kindness and love - he has determination, wit and a great sense of humor. He is dependable and responsible. Kevin's independence is that much more liberating for him because he knows where he is, where he is going and where he belongs.
I love my baby brother.

Sleep in peace, my Christian friends...

What do nonbelievers do when they lay down to sleep?


Do they relax with milk or wine or just start counting sheep?

Do they recall the little things that made their day a mess

Or do they wish they could be rich and have to work much less?

I wonder if they know that when you rest at night in love,

Knowing that your life is under guard by those above,

The pain from life is just a load that each of us must bear

But we can turn it over to the Lord’s unending care.

I wonder how they sleep when life could end at any time

And they don’t have a promise of eternity in mind.

I wonder if we told them that the peace we have is real,

Would they allow the Savior in, their wounded souls to heal?

Would they respond that we are nuts and turn their eyes away?

Do they know we won’t let them off? Won’t let them get away?

Will we express our faith and love and tell them of God’s will?

Will we convince them He can help their empty hearts be filled?

Do we show them through our actions; our words and thoughts and deeds

That God above, the Lord of Love, supplies their every need?

Do we show them the love we have as Christians can be shared

To all who throw their selves aside – who step to Christ – who dare?

Did we hold back, or take the reins and charge to fight the fight

That keeps them tossing, turning as they try to rest each night?

If they became believers, their minds could rest in peace

Knowing that through God above, anxiety will cease.

Do we help them see that God alone, in life their souls will keep?

What DO nonbelievers do when they lay down to sleep?